Chaos Wild
by JJ91
Summary: JJ91 & StarVix combine to bring you one wild ride:  Star has been captured by Dr Eggman and Volcano  JJ91  has to rescue her. What does it mean to be a Chaos Manipulator? Why is Eggman wearing a Santa suit? And is it wrong for me to write in 1st Person?


**JJ91: I'm glad to be doing my first ever joint fic with an author whom I admire (and is as crazy as I am).**

**Hey Star, you want to put your name up too, with the funny dot-things?**

As night fell on Station Square, a maroon SUV swerved loudly around a tight bend and shot off down the highway. In the back, a cream newt was screaming for is life as the driver slammed his foot down hard on the accelerator.

"Heeeeeeeeeelp!"

"Where almost there, V!" the driver called. "We just passed exit 85."

"How can you even see where you're going, Stream?" I yelled, barely able to hear myself think over the roaring engine. "We're top at maximum speed and it's pitch-black outside."

"I can tell," Stream said, veering right.

"You know, it wouldn't hurt to turn on the headliiiiiiiieeeeeeekkk!" I gripped my seat for dear life as Stream cut a hard left and nearly careened into a nearby Mac truck.

"Just hold your horses, OK? We're almost there." Stream turned and gave me a disapproving look, which meant he wasn't watching where he was going, which means he also drove off the side of the road.

"Watch out for that—"

"AhhAhhAHH!"

My jaw dropped in disbelief as:

One: Stream swerved and missed the tree we were careening for by mere inches and;

Two: some weird guy dressed in a loincloth and yelling like Tarzan swung from a vine and ran right into it.

"Ooh," Stream winced in sympathy as the Tarzan wannabe fell off the tree, leaving his imprint in it.

"…Tree," I finished lamely. Not knowing what else to say on the matter, I sat back and kept my eyes closed, praying for a swift end to this nightmare. To bad the same couldn't be said for my mouth; one more sickening turn and I found myself

"Oh, man! I just had this thing reupholstered!" Stream moaned.

I simply groaned loudly, clutching my stomach and trying not to hurl anymore. Luckily, I didn't, and the rest of the trip was relatively uneventful.

"We're here," Stream called out presently. "See? That wasn't so bad."

As soon as the car stopped, we all got out and I proceeded to clean myself up.

"Not so BAD? That was the **worst **road trip I ever had!" I screamed.

I looked up and saw Stream, the purple Bear, standing proudly at the fore as the rest of my team members recovered from the ride. Did nothing ever faze him?

I chuckled at his fearlessness and turned my attention to the large red battleship looming silently in front of us. Instantly, my heart sank as I came to grasp the enormity of the fortress. This would be like looking for a needle in three haystacks.

I felt sick and pale and had just lost my dinner, but I wasn't about to leave just yet. I felt somewhat responsible for the girl trapped on board. I know I shouldn't have blamed myself, but I kept thinking it was my fault. "If only I wasn't a Chaos Chosen," I told myself. "Then this would never have happened."

It was beyond my power, though. I shared a bond with the red Chaos Emerald that ran deep and Eggman knew it all too well. He was after the bond and now held this random stranger at ransom for it. It broke my heart to think about it all.

With tears in my eyes, I proceeded to climb up the side of the vessel with my amphibious hands and feet. Star, the red Swan, had already taken flight and the others were breaking down the front door. I couldn't stop now; I had to get up on deck.

All of a sudden something landed atop my head. "What in the…" Confused, I grabbed the thing and looked at it in wonder. It was yellow, and square, and sort of smelled like…

"It's raining cheese?" I asked, catching another particularly large slice – this time, blue-vein. "I haven't seen weather this strange since Eggman snowed us in four years ago."

I shook my head, gobbled up the blue-vein, and, calling to my Chao, Spark, I shimmied up the metal hull and began looking for a point of entry, pointedly ignoring the cheese that continued to fall.

Meanwhile, Eggman was looking around his lab, looking like he was about to pull his own moustache out. "Why?" He asked his robot minions, Metal Sonic, Metal Knuckles, and Shadow Android. "You had a whole city full of potential hostages to grab! Why'd you have to pick HER?"

"I dunno," Metal Knuckles said sheepishly. "I guess cause she asked us?"

Eggman suddenly paused, looking at Metal Knuckles incredulously. "She actually asked you to kidnap her?" he blurted out.

The three machines nodded simultaneously.

"Why?" was the only word that came to Eggman's mind.

"She said she wanted to know what would happen," Shadow Android explained.

Eggman growled. "All I wanted was to lure a Chaos Chosen. I didn't want to kidnap a Chaos Manipulator to do it! Especially not THAT one!"

"Why?" Metal Knuckles asked. "What's so scary about a Chaos Manipulator?"

Eggman sighed. "A Chaos Manipulator can directly affect reality without the use of Chaos emeralds. THIS Chaos Manipulator, turns every invention one of my counterparts creates into some sort of babifying ray, turned his Metal Sonic into a nanny and his Metal Knuckles into an idiot, has turned nearly everyone in the Sonic franchise into a baby at LEAST once, turned evil villains into babysitters for said baby Sonic characters…"

"And makes cheese fall from the sky?" Metal Sonic supplemented.

Eggman looked outside, where it was still raining cheese. "Apparently," he admitted. "And don't get me started on the chaos she induces when teamed up with other people! She's a menace! A crazy little psycho!"

"Hey!" The current kidnapped victim, a red vixen with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a white star on her forehead, chose at this moment to interrupt Eggman. She'd been tied by a chain to a long pole. The girl glared at him for a while, then a hopeful grin spread across her face. "You really think I'm little?" she asked, looking down to her hips.

"Please, Star, I don't have time for this," Eggman moaned, rubbing his head. "And will you please stop making it rain cheese?"

Star the Vixen shrugged. "That depends on whether or not we're all done being so cheesy," she said, as if it was obvious. "I mean, seriously, who cries while trying to rescue someone they've never even met?"

Eggman and his machines stared at her as if she'd grown an extra head. "What?" Shadow Android finally dared to ask.

"I said…"

"Never mind that!" Eggman snapped, cutting her off. The intruder alarm was starting to go off. Visibly excited, Eggman rushed to the monitor system and started to push buttons. Soon, a large picture of Star's would-be rescuer appeared where he was shimmying up the metal hull, trying to dodge falling cheese.

"Oh, ho ho!" Eggman cheered. Instantly a red Santa Claus suit appeared over his uniform. Annoyed, he turned and glared at Star. "Stop that!" he ordered.

"What?" Star asked as the suit disappeared. "You mean you don't laugh like that because you have a secret desire to be Old Saint Nick?"

"NO!" Eggman yelled, turning around and pushing another button. "All units, get me that meddler!"

"You'd have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids," Metal Knuckles blurted out for no apparent reason.

Eggman glared at Star. "I said stop that!"

"But…"

"No buts!"

"But I…"

"I said no!"

Star huffed and started to sulk. Eggman didn't care as long as she stopped messing with his universe – and she did, for now.

In the Co-Author Dimension, Volcano (JJ91) wakes up from a long sleep. Star seems too busy with her other stories (and her Bobo Boyfriend) right now, so perhaps, Volcano thinks, posting what they already have may get things moving again. 


End file.
